Empower Yourself.

THE DAY:JULY 15TH 2007
THE TIME:AROUND SEVEN
THE MUSIC:BLACKBIRD; SARAH MCLAUGHLAN(COVER)
THE MOMENT:MY BEST FRIEND.

Katie took me on another birthday surprise.
Theres pictures up on facebook.(Lame plug, but go look anyway.)
Heres a piece of what happened.
Eventually the directions stopped using road names and started using phrases like "take the gated trail on the left" or "the dam across the pond to the right." I knew a place that would fulfill us would have to include directions like that. We picked the trail. We were going up a small hill when I watched it opening up in my eyes. I ran. It was a field of sunflowers.
It was around 5 o clock, so the flowers were starting to face the ground, even in all of their numbers, all of their yellows, all of their new growth. It was fitting for that day though. In the morning, they would rise to face the sky. I knew it. We twirled. We jumped. We were free.

(that night I told zach I didn’t need him in my life anymore)
There may be no way to make you understand the magnitude of that day in the field. We just knew. My soul is changing. I am expanding in all directions. There is so much space in me. Not the empty kind, just the ready kind. The still, silent strength of a fluid moment. Its like when you dive into a wave, the feeling that comes right after the ocean soaks you up, and ends right before you emerge to the surface. Like driving under an overpass in the rain. The split second on a trampoline where you are neither rising or falling. That was my soul.

THE DAY: jULY 19tH 2OO7
THE TIME: 12:14 aM
THE MUSIC: I need a Boss; Shareefa
THE MOMENT: Bam.

Remember summer boy?
First of all, I want to say that he knew about my Zach past.
Now...
Time to have a small moment together.
Here's a direct quote from a recent conversation.

"Ever since I kissed you, things are different. I feel very replaceable, like I could be any other girl and you wouldn't notice. I can't really give you a specific example of why, but I feel like I may be just your summer makeout girl. Honestly, if you would have caught me a couple of months ago... I would have been fine with that. So if that's what you're looking for, I don't think that's offensive or unforgiveably sleezy. I get it. But, if that is what you want, I need you to be honest with me about it, and then find some other girl girl to be that for you. Because I won't be. Its not enough for me anymore."

R a i s e u p y a ' l l.