Today I went on campus, because its the first day of school and I belong there. I don't have class til 5, but I couldn't shake the feeling that I wanted to be out there with everyone else on this big day of beginning. I brought a book, my journal, and found some grass. I layed down definantly like "Yep, my first day too!" and wrote for a while about the things my Mom told me today. When I got up to go home, I saw my favorite tree. "I didn't recognize you with leaves," I thought, and in seconds I am underneath this tree, sittin back against the trunk, with no more thoughts of walkin home. Fresh dirt gets all over my jeans, my bag, and both sides of my journ. I realized: This is where I belong today.
Today I am calm. I can hear my thoughts and they are not all fighting over the same thing. I can write them down and not be embarrassed for you to see. Here are some thoughts from beneath The Freedom Tree.
My least favorite word is: INDESCRIBABLE.
Because using it means I cannot show you this part of my world, though there is a triumph in the word INDESCRIBABLE, because it means I have experienced something even higher than the power of words can obtain, which is a power so great that my entire life has been consumed by the seeking of it.
I feel very grounded when I claim myself.
I AM A WRITER.
I AM A WOMAN.
I AM STRONG.
I AM SOUTHERN.
When I say these things, I am comforted by the categories.
I AM A STRONG SOUTHERN WRITING WOMAN.
Is this a cop-out?
Could I be more than a combination of certain, definable compartments?
Yes. Yes I could be.
I must be, and you must be too.
This is why the standard way of getting to know people feels dull and futile to me.
"What's your major?"
"Where are you from?"
Because you are MORE!
You are more more more!
How can I find the rest of you?
Lyndsi Shae 2:34 PM
If I meet you today, I will endure this standard list of questions gladly. Because we are human and I cannot completely alter the process of introduction worldwide. I'll be patient because if you'll let me see who you really are in there-- this whole mess will fade, and real us will emerge. Worth it.