I know that it is freezin but I think we have to walk...

THE DAY: Tuesday 9-25-07
THE TIME: 12:03 PM
THE MUSIC: Somehow; Good Morning Maxfield
THE MOMENT: Cowlick'ed hair and pajamas at Noon.

Yesterday I was a sad girl.

Today I am too, but maybe a little better.
The goal is not to be a mopey-helpless sad,
but instead a hopeful-keep-believing type of sad.

Within the past few days:
I have stood, sat, ran, twirled, screamed, and sang in the rain.
I have watched confused rock and roll boys, in their tattered skinny jeans, sing into microphones in the middle of the street. I have stared a boy in the face who somehow had nothing to say to me. (I still know I could love him.) I have been the elusive girl on the crosswalk, shivering in the wind, singing myself home in the dark, staring down the headlights of those forced to wait on me.



I have come home to the calm feeling of my friends.
I am thankful.

Here I am.

THE DAY: September 20th, 2007

THE TIME: 12:55 AM

THE MUSIC: So Long Lonesome; Explosions In The Sky

THE MOMENT: Reach

I've been struggling with this darkness left by my father. I've been walking past fenced off broken buildings. I've been laying under sycamore trees and stretching myself around, as if I could reach to embrace an earth that would soak through to me. I've been hoping to find out who these people are behind all the doors that surround my new home. I've been wondering what it is I'm anticipating. I've been trying to inhale, trying to show myself, trying to find a peace of timing. I've been walking upside down, though I still can't feel today's road in my eyes. I've been chasing after the tides of my own longing, my own security, my own core desires. I've been searching out my name, peeling through the skins of my feet, listening for change. I've been under bells of silence, bombs of indifference, forests of a petrified past.

Will they find me?

THE DAY: September 8th, 2007

THE TIME: 6:23 PM

THE MUSIC:

THE MOMENT:

These days the sun tauntingly sinks,

Sprawling herself provocatively across the mountains,

Flashing vivid colors from within her organs.

Underneath, I walk monochrome.

Barely let in by the air, I float home.

step.step.step.

Time squeezes and sneaks through hidden alleyways.

I spin the night. I shake the hours.

Stretching in and out of stale corners, I try to wake the moments that surround me.

But nothing reaches.

Nothing swallows.

tick.tick.tick.

I am waiting.