Monday, January 14, 2008

An aftertaste.

THE DAY: January 15th, 2008 and 17th
THE TIME: 1:05 aM
THE MUSIC: flustered sounds outside my bedroom window.
THE MOMENT: bed, pajamas, writing by laptop lights.

Tonight I was walking home when a question snuck up behind me…
“Lyndsi Shae, WHAT are you doing?!”
I realized… that I didn’t really know.
That wasn’t enough.
It jumped in front of me, blocked my path, and demanded an answer.

And all I could say was “No game. No plan. No idea.”

These days…
Answers aren’t coming in like clean-shaven black-and-white suited messengers.
They’re more like big burly cave men that just grunt and point in a general direction.
I know the vague outer-workings of what I should do.
I know where.
I do not know why.
I do not know how.
I do not know with who.
I am tempted to want God to explain the very interior of His will for me.
Tonight, I let the uncertainty shake me to standing still.

“Lyndsi Shae, what are you doing?”

I am trusting.
That is enough.

"I just noticed that you talk to strangers like they're your friends."
--Girl in my line last night.

1 comment:

siovhan said...

no worries. i have no game, either. as was painfully evident in the past 24 hours. but regardless of your lack of game...i love you and i can see that plan formin within a cute boy's head.