THE DAY: May 29, 2007.
THE TIME: 12:22 AM
THE MUSIC: Change; By Tracy Chapman
THE MOMENT: Gushing.
Today I ran. I jumped. I sank into the water. I renewed to the surface. Speeding over the lake, I closed my eyes inside the wind. I surrendered to all the contradiction inside of me. Loving him was a truth that will remain somewhere within me. However, I fight to remove him from my future. I have to get away. The windows came down, the air rushed by, I drove too fast. I stayed too long, but still not long enough. How do you extract love? How do I take all the knowledge of our perpetuality, and bend it around this girl I am trying to become... The strength I am trying to uphold. Though it doesn't come passively, I know that strength is within me. I refuse to let it hide dormant behind spheres of excuses or self pity. I will overcome this. Still, as I allow small pieces of him to slip away from me, I must also give up some of myself, and therein lies the surrender. The pain of losing who I once was. The trust of finding new ways to fill my spaces. The loss and gain of my own life.
12:22 AM May 29th 2007