Friday, November 20, 2009

Finite. Falliable.

I am amazed at life.
How does it do this?

I'm listening to Greensleeves. Can you believe that Henry VIII wrote this?
Once upon a time, Henry had a huge thing for Anne Boleyn.
He was so enamored with her that he started his own church in order to divorce his wife.
This man threw down with the POPE to get his way.
After that went through, he married Anne.
They had little Queen Elizabeth,
and then they had three miscarriages.
No one thinks about what that was like for Anne.
After this, he had her beheaded for failing to produce a son.
No one thinks about what that was like for Henry, because obviously Henry had no feelings.
We're wrong. He did.
That man wrote Greensleeves, which to me is proof of feeling.
He felt many things, especially for Anne, the girl this song was written for.
How could we understand him?

Sometimes people tell me I am strange.
I think they're right.
Sometimes people tell me I will not find another person to match me.
You know, like I don't get to marry someone I've been hoping for.
I don't get to feel what that is like.
Because I am just an odd girl... maybe I'll just do my writing thing and be fine alone.
Sometimes I hear these things.
"I just don't know how you'll find a boy who rolls outta bed in his t-shirt and plays in the mud with you-- but also bears his soul. I don't think there are boys that do both."
And plus... if you were to find him... he'd still have to want you back.
And so somewhere in my subconscious,
I was preparing myself to settle.
Because I am strange.
And I might never be understood.

That was a few years ago,
before i found out they were wrong.
I get to be loved too.

But there is an element of truth to this idea,
the idea that no human can completely understand me.
Or you.
Because there is one word that applies to all of us: complex.

[adj. v. kuh m-pleks, kom-pleks]
2. characterized by a very complicated or involved arrangement of parts, units, etc.
3. so complicated or intricate as to be hard to understand or deal with.

"You cannot confine someone 
solely to the story that you know of them," 
my professor said.

That was in September.
I think about it all the time.
There is always more that we don't see.
That we don't quite feel.
And no matter how far I dig to find out who you are...
You have memories I've never seen,
and choices that even you can't explain.

They found the manuscript among his old things.
Written for Anne Boelyn.
Signed Sincerely, King Henry VIII.



brooke said...

thank you for the reminder that none of us have to settle.
i really believe that.

Anonymous said...

It was certainly interesting for me to read that article. Thank you for it. I like such topics and anything connected to this matter. I definitely want to read more soon.

David's Holla Atchya! Blog said...

I saw an interesting exhibit on Henry VII at his Hampton Court Palace in London. They told his story from the point of view of Catherine of Aragon and Thomas Wolsey. It enlarged my mind about who Henry was. I do believe he was a horrible man, but also a misunderstood man.
I can relate more to your post than you might ever imagine.
Also, not to pry into your business, but you said 'those people were wrong.' Are you insinuating you found someone to love who understands you? I'm jealous and I want to know more. Have a good day.
P.S. I listened to the full Greensleeves. It was lovely.

Anonymous said...

It was extremely interesting for me to read the article. Thanx for it. I like such themes and everything that is connected to them. I definitely want to read a bit more on that blog soon.

Que Buen Chica! said...

I may have said something similar - but not exactly what I meant. You will find EXACTLY what you are looking for - just don't pass over any potentials on the way. No one is off limits to Lyndsi Shae! (My words - not yours of course)

Amazing that you know about Greensleeves and are sharing it with the world by the way.

Claire said...

Confession: I used to choose Lyndsi-Shae posts at random and read them to get a creative boost. I felt like it would help me know you better.
Tonight I did that again and landed on my all-time favorite: January 18, 2009--"Seven."
Memories were refreshed and I realized how well I know you for myself, from your speech to my ears.
This was comforting to me.
And I thought you'd like to know.