Saturday, June 30, 2007

Take that.

THE DAY: June 30th, 2007
THE TIME: 10:38 AM
THE MUSIC: Permanent; Colbie Cailliat and Jason Reeves
THE MOMENT: Slow Breeze

vernalization (vûr'nə-lĭ-zā'shən)
The subjection of seeds or seedlings to low temperature in order to hasten plant development and flowering. Vernalization is commonly used for crop plants such as winter rye and is possible because the seeds and buds of many plants require cold in order to break dormancy.

I refuse to let my heart die with this. I loved you with every moment inside of me and did so with a fighting conviction. I will never be ashamed of you; I will never banish you to silence as you have me. I will break the confining ceilings of my hibernation with the strength to become whole. I will trudge out of weary shadows not with a biting hate, not with a glowing banner of valor to catch outside eyes, but with a solid reverence for my struggle. I am a strong woman. I will not watch over my heart with a cowardly vigilance. I will trust again, unbounded, without inhibition. There is a nightingale in me. I will be triumphant in spaces where I can fly free from your wirey cages. Watch me float away. I go into a sunrise, leaving it to set on you, to fold you up into faded colors, a twilight to finally disappear. I can feel you. Right in this darkness of mine. I know you're there. But you cannot have me anymore. These are my days. I will have a family. I will write out my soul. I will find new freedoms through this resilience I fight faithfully to gain. I could not do these things in the presence of your fleeting words and hesitant love for me. I wish to grow away from you in beautifully ripped seams and stitched patterns of stories unfolding.
From Wednesday June 6th into Thursday the 7th 12:29 AM

I will never again be captured in a way that inhibits my natural freedom.


Anonymous said...

Is it OK if i quote you again. I know this is kind of anonymous so you can't tell, but let me know if it bothers you.

Lyndsi Shae* said...
This comment has been removed by the author.