Monday, October 27, 2008


From Zach Bailey
October 16th, 2008
11:45 am
So I know this is out of no where, but do you think we can be friends again? As much as friends can be over facebook anyway? I had a dream about you the other night and I guess this is where it is coming from. If I have to remain in your past because of what I put you through it, then I understand, but honestly I might just wait another six months and ask you again.

From Lyndsi Shae
October 20th, 2008
3:29 pm
I want to know about your dream.

Why do you want to do this? Really. I need to know that too.

From Zach Bailey
October 20th, 2008
5:13 pm
You should know that its not the first time you have shown up. Every now and then you will be in them. And its been like that since forever, and at this point I just think you will probably occasionally come up in them for forever. You couldn't possibly be anymore removed from my life, and yet you are still a reoccurring dream, or thought, or feeling. Sometimes when you do just sneek up on me out of nowhere, and I have no idea who you are anymore, and I know that its definitely my fault, but here we are Junior year in College, and there are still nights when I wake up after you were in my dream, and I just lay there and think about that for a min. I just don't know what to think. And I hate that. And thats Why I want to do this. I used to know you so so well, and now I no nothing about you, and I'm not saying being "facebook" friends will give me any appreciation for who you really are now, because I know thats impossible, but at least its something.
And I thought about all that for a bit, and then I just decided I would ask you, and if you hated the sound of it, well then I tried, and I would probably try again eventually.

About the dream, and most of the dreams that you happen to come up in. Theres no mystery in it. I mean this was last week, but it was something like this. I was hanging out with all my friends here and out of nowhere you just walked by, I knew it was you, and you knew I was there, but thats all the acknowledgment we gave each other. It was like you were there and I was there, and we knew it, but we didn't know each other at all. Like one of those people that you met through someone else, once a long time ago, and when you see each other you say hey, but thats it. Except we didn't even say hi.

From Zach Bailey
October 25th, 2008
9:20 am
so thats it then huh

From Lyndsi Shae
October 27th, 2008 5:14 pm
I am full of love, full of yearning. There is life and youth exploding from me. Do you remember that? There was a time when all of that culminated into what I was willing to give you.
You had me. You held me down.

I’m still out here in Utah. I study what I love. I write out my days. I am a strong woman, stronger than your dreams. I am free from your influence. The value of this freedom fills me with gratitude. Because it was not easy to find—I struggled and prayed from Christmas to July for this separation from you.
I have let go of my love for you.
I have let go of my anger towards you.

I have let go of any lingeri
ng resentment, and all back-corner longings.
This is why I rarely think about you.
This is why, even in my subconscious sleeping hours, you are not there.

Zach, I labored for this.
I was yours.
And you didn’t fight for me.
Now we’re here, and you can’t come back.

I am happy today. I don’t want to change how we are.

I can think of no reason to give you this window into my life.

October 27th, 2008
5:17 pm
ok. If you ever have a change of heart, let me know. I know you worked to get away. I won't ask you again.

October 27th, 2008
5:50 pm

July 13th, 2007
June 30th, 2007


PleaseRememberMeFondly said...

Whoa. Your strength constantly leaves me in awe, love. I hope you know that you're incredible and one of a kind.

siovhan said...


that is leaps and bounds and things i majorly need to hear.

Que Buen Chica! said...

I am amazed and crushed.

I loved him with you and I hurt with you over him and I feel what you are feeling.

A victorious vindication that you survived stronger and better combined with a little bit (admit it) of sadness at never knowing what might have been.

I love you to pieces