Friday, April 17, 2009

Chocolate Peanut Butter Oreo Shake

Boyfriend.
Sunday night Wayne and I were talkin' about food. AGAIN.
We discuss our daily meals at length-- Once, there was even a comprehensive analysis of the Wendy's Dollar Menu via text message. Sweet Glory!

"Wayne, if we last a long time-- we're both gonna get HUUUGE," I said.

And it's true. If you combine our unadulterated love of eating-- monstrous things will ensue. And by monstrous I mean
fantastically obese.


(Kinda Gross, but I think we're pretty cool.)

Lifeguarding Class.
Today I pretended to save an unconscious 18 year old girl. Her injured spine was straight between my forearms and I kicked at a 45 degree angle to the surface. Her name is Courtney and she drives her parents' Astro Van. When it was all over, she told me about this boy who was in love with her. Then, she saved me and my spine. But just before in the clear blue, the 12 silent feet between us and the oxygen was surreal. I think it was the sense of urgency, the incorruptible trust, the swishing of silent kick. kick. kick. back to life.


Finals Week.
Also surreal. I really have nothing to say about finals, only that there is something here with me this week. Or maybe, it is the absence of something. Summer has paused on our edges, not yet present but felt by those who wait, who need. Felt by those who know what it means. Who are starved for human connection and for a search of self-- which somehow, unintentionally, has been put on pause.

There is so much compassion in me. But blocked. Blocked by my distracted self-importance. If I could break down all that opposes it-- the anger and judgment, the pride and idleness-- I KNOW... that only clear purpose would remain. Only clarified direction.

Only healing.

1 comment:

Jen Bee said...

Woman! Let me tell about the most outrageous cake I made this week! the crust/bottom layer was soft brownie, the next layer was what I call "the stuff" ( smashed oreos,hot fudge,cool whip, and chocolate pudding mix all mixed into..."the stuff"). The next layer was fatboy ice cream sandwhiches, the next layer was another filling of "the stuff", then a layer of ice cream. Layer five was chocolate that hard coated on the top of the ice cream layer. Then the whole thing was covered with cool whip and smashed toffee bar on top!!!! I promise i shall make it for when i live in the prov! and we shall be merry with fat bellies